Seppuku Fugu Startup (too small to be a Corp)

Pikeman 264

This deck is supposed to be the best worst deck.

I built this deck to be the Corp counterpart to Suicide Goldfish Walker (too slow to be a Runner). The goal here is to be as bad as possible, and let your opponent know it.

Economy cards:

BWBI and Firmware Updates without any advanceable, or even any ice period, in the deck. Superior Cyberwalls should also prove equally useful with no barrier ice present.

Back Channels is there to trash your agendas in case you're almost within range of actually advancing one to the point it could be scored.

Reuse to let you dump your whole hand for , which can now be spent on nothing important. Successful Demonstration could also net you , if only you actually had a way to stop any run ever.

Sealed Vault can be used to hold on to all of your , prior to being promptly trashed by you when you decide to install an asset, agenda, or upgrade in the same server. Thomas Haas will let you do much the same, only you get to waste s as well.

Synergies with zero-ice decks:

Numerous operations will alert any corp running this deck to the fact that they cannot be played, as no ice can be chosen. Included in this category are Commercialization, Oversight AI, Patch, and Sub Boost. However, Sunset can be played, but fortunately you won't have to worry about letting the runner know (per FAQ rules) how the ice was rearranged, as there is no ice to be rearranged.

Levy University lets you search your deck to verify that, in fact, it does not contain any ice. Security Subcontract should also prove to be just as useful under these circumstances.

Amazon Industrial Zone lets you know that if you had ice, you could rez it while being installed for a reduced cost. Dedicated Technician Team would also mitigate any install costs of the missing ice. Finally, The Twins lets you know that even if you had ice, you would need several copies of it to make it worthwhile.

Satellite Grid lets you put tokens on the imaginary ice that you don't have, just in case BWBI didn't give you enough to advance it. Experiential Data and Lag Time further strengthens said nonexistent ice. Finally, Corporate Troubleshooter is there to solve a another problem you'll never have, such as ice strength being too low for a particular run.

Tyr's Hand lets you buff that bioroid ice that you're missing, and should synergize well with Awakening Center. Brain-Taping Warehouse completes the bioroid ice support trifecta, while lacking only the crucial element, the bioroid ice itself.

Constellation Protocol will let you move the tokens around on the ice you don't have, and might even cause a novice runner to waste trashing it. Meanwhile, Underway Grid will prevent them from bypassing any ice, except you have none. And lastly, Will-o'-the-Wisp would let you put their icebreakers on the bottom of their stack, if only they needed to use them in the first place.

If you're tired of making tough decisions on where to spend your s, let IT Department take the taxing mental thought out of the equation. Simply spend all your s dumping power counters on it, only to realize you can never actually spend them.

Help the runner along.

I know, being a runner can be frustrating. So why not help them get to where they want to go?

Install Oaktown Renovation, with no ice to protect it, so the runner doesn't waste time accidentally running unrezzed assets or upgrades and can go straight for points. Or, give them a sense of accomplishment by installing either The Board or Director Haas, which you rez with no protection. Lastly, why not take bad publicity and give the runner points at the same time? Well, Vulcan Coverup is there just to fill this particular role!

Runner is low on ? Give them money with Medical Research Fundraiser. Better yet, load up on bad pub so they'll have free every run. This deck lets you accumulate a total of 15 bad publicity (without any help from Valencia), making your NAPD Contract require a whopping 19 advancement tokens before it can be scored.

They're having a hard time finding points? Dump all but Fast Track via Reuse, and make sure they know you only have one card in your hand. Then play Fast Track for Government Takeover, and leave it in HQ so they don't have to bother memorizing its position on the board. Don't worry, there's no Punitive Counterstrike in here that could accidentally win you the game, and they'll also know for certain that don't have it in your hand, as you only have the one, revealed Government Takeover, and no ice to speak of.

In danger of scoring agendas yourself? Forfeit Posted Bounty immediately upon scoring, and give yourself some bad pub too. Corporate Town will let you forfeit Government Takeover, should you accidentally score it, and consequently you repeatedly forget to use CT's ability on the beginning of your turn, or trash it by installing something else in its place.

Finally, are you facing the dreaded Suicide Goldfish Walker? Never fear, Power Shutdown is here! Simply trash all of R&D, and lose as soon as you need to draw another card.

5 comments
7 Oct 2015 Lupus Yonderboi

Do you really want to play no ice at all ?

Burke's bug could be a nice addition. Hadn't you played some bad pub cards, you should have added one Ireress or 2.

7 Oct 2015 Pikeman

@Lupus Yonderboi - True, that card is pretty terrible. However, that would make a whole bunch of other cards useful (Levy, Lag Time, Oversight, Patch), so I'll pass.

7 Oct 2015 WayneMcPain

The comment about forfeiting an accidentally scored Government Takeover to Corporate Town...I almost shot coffee out of my nose. Great deck. Wish there was influence for Test Ground so you could derez said Corporate Town and forfeit more agendas.

7 Oct 2015 Pikeman

@WayneMcPain - Oh, good idea! I suppose you could remove Director Haas and put a couple of those in.

7 Oct 2015 haywire

At first this Deck look like someone ate a Peanutbutter-Yelly-Sandwich in a messy way and then rolled his face through the Box with the Cards and played everything, that kept sticking. But it's not that easy! This Deck is a very sophisticated construct full of synergies and plans. It's not an easy Task to make something so utterly outstanding.

The only time i saw something on an almost equally brilliant Level in my Life, it involved lots of Alcohol, a Brickwall and several month of convalescence...