Watch this. It'll be funny.

fancywookiee 84

Noise

I'm the trouble starter, punking instigator.

I'm the fear addicted, danger illustrated.

I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter, you're the firestarter, twisted firestarter.

I'm the b***h you hated, filth infatuated.

Yeah, I'm the pain you tasted, fell intoxicated.

I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter, you're the firestarter, twisted firestarter.

I'm the self-inflicted, punk detonator.

Yeah, I'm the one invented, twisted animator.

I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter, you're the firestarter, twisted firestarter. starter... starter... starter...

THE PLAN:

This is an incredibly, incredibly stupid combo deck. It is a bad idea to play it in the competitive environment. However, it only has to work once to make you look like a total badass punk in your local meta.

Get Kati out early and start loading her with money, you'll need it later.

Start installing literally all of the things. Ideally, you want a Grimoire out early. Aim for Djinn too so you can start tutoring Incubators. When you see Progenitor get it down and get Hivemind onto it, charge it to 3 counters. Chuck out Chakana to slow down the Corp.

Wyldcakes is here to feed you 2 cards every turn and let you install them.

Never, at any point, be tempted to use Josh B.

When the opportunity presents itself you win the game in these "simple" combo-wombo moves.

HOW TO WIN AT "ANDROID: NETRUNNER THE CARD GAME ™":

Only do this is you can guarantee to access every single card in R&D (via Medium) with the number of virus tokens you're about to dump onto Hivemind.

Previous turn. Get a lot of money from Kati. Make sure you have a minimum 2 Medium in hand, plus Hades Shard, CBI raid and Demolition Run.

Start of turn: Use Josh B. Trash DDoS.

1) Empty out Incubator 1/2 onto Hivemind.

2) Empty out Incubator 2/2 onto Hivemind.

3) CBI Raid on HQ. Detonate EMP Device 1/2. Insta-parasite whatever Ice they rez. Watch the Corp sweat as they meticulously arrange their hand on top of R&D.

4) Run Archives, which you hope only has maximum one piece of Ice on it. Instead of accessing, install Hades Shard.

5) Amped Up. Watch your opponent's "Oh crap..." look with amusement.

6) Mass-install some Mediums.

7) Demolition Run R&D. Detonate EMP Device 2/2. Kill whatever Ice is Rezzed with Insta-Parasite. If it's Architect, pay your 2 Mimic credits. Trash EVERYTHING. You do not want to leave cards in R&D.

8) Apocalypse.

Congratulations. You have now finished a game with your opponent's entire deck in the bin, which is probably the most complete way to win at "Android: Netrunner The Card Game ™."

To add insult to injury, you may wish to trash Hades shard and access everything.

FAQ:

1) Why only Mimic?:

Architect is the only Ice that cannot be trashed by an insta-Parasite. You do not want it to fire and install something inconvenient like Cyberdex Virus Suite.

(Edit: In my Hubris I completely forgot that Lotus Field exists. Add a Darwin or simply hope for the best.)

2) My opponent purged virus counters. Now I am sad:

Hopefully they looked at the situation and didn't want to lose 6 credits, but if they did then sorry, you probably aren't going to win at "Android: Netrunner The Card Game ™" this time. The pain will be worth it when you pull off. Once you have achieved this, resleeve your cards into a sensible deck.

3) My opponent Chronos Protocol'd away my only Parasite. Now I am sad:

Sorry, you probably aren't going to win at "Android: Netrunner The Card Game ™" this time. The pain will be worth it when you pull off. Once you have achieved this, resleeve your cards into a sensible deck.

4) My opponent scored out before I got set up. Now I am sad:

Sorry, you didn't win at "Android: Netrunner The Card Game ™" this time. The pain will be worth it when you pull off. Once you have achieved this, resleeve your cards into a sensible deck.

5) This looks stupid, why should I play it?:

It is. You probably shouldn't. If you do anyway and win, you will feel like a boss.

6) Why have you done this?:

It's funny and I'm bored of playing tournament decks that value absurd notions like "consistency."

12 comments
19 Mar 2016 Mechanoise

This post made me listen to Prodigy. Perfect!

19 Mar 2016 Phoenix

Corp: Install Lotus Field on R&D Runner: Hmm, gg.

You missed one of the other problem ice for you ;)

19 Mar 2016 Froyza

I am going to a concert in Kiev in three weeks . Be sure to be playing this deck :)

19 Mar 2016 fancywookiee

@Phoenix That's a good point and will have to be added to the FAQ. Alternatively, Add a Darwin.

19 Mar 2016 Damien Stark

Step 7 is a typo, tells you to run HQ rather than R&D.

19 Mar 2016 fancywookiee

@Damien Stark Thank you. Corrected.

19 Mar 2016 Damien Stark

I'm also thinking that when they see Noise "Install All The Viruses!!1!1", they install CVS somewhere. When the triple Medium comes out, they probably fire CVS, if you haven't already hit it on HQ... I suppose this is just a subset of FAQ 2, but it probably hurts more.

19 Mar 2016 fancywookiee

@Damien Stark Completely valid point. This is a really stupid deck that requires an awful lot of luck. I've designed it as much as possible to be fun to fail at working, too. It's a broken, janky, Rube-Goldberg deck to relieve stress after tournament season.

19 Mar 2016 Damien Stark

@fancywookiee Awesome. Totally on board here.

19 Mar 2016 PeterCapObvious

Liked and favourited for the Prodigy lyrics :D

21 Mar 2016 .//rvtk

Can you use Hades Shard after Apocalypse?

21 Mar 2016 Damien Stark

Hand size still a problem. Your power turn needs to begin with the following in hand: Amped Up, CBI, Demolition Run, Hades Shard, Apocalypse, Mass Install, at least two Medium. That's 8 cards. 9 if you want the third Medium or 7 if you cut back the Hades Shard and let the corp deck themselves instead of you stealing ALL THE AGENDAS.

May need to cut a Fester or a Sure Gamble to make room for some Public Sympathy...