Friendship Theory: You take hostages like a little girl

killionaire 900

Hi everyone! My name is Chaos Theory, I'm 12-years old and have Cyber-Aspergers and I'm writing this because my stupid teacher asked me what I did last summer.

So like, right after I got my yearfacebook digi-signed, I decided to go and ruin millions of credits of investments at a bunch of major corporations.

The basic plan was to facecheck all their ICE on the first turn, then install a Magnum Opus from hand immediately after to start generating ALL THE CREDITS, since I got a totally legal money printing program and a new hp inkjet printer.

I'll install breakers as I need them of course with SMC, and Clone Chips to recur the SMCs, but try most of all to get Femme Fatale onto Dinosaurus, so Dino can have a tiny little murder-skank riding him. It's fun! If I'm poor, I guess I could get a Pipeline, which cheaply is installed and makes it safe to run vs all that newfangled 'multi-sub murder tax ICE' that Jinteki got, like Tsurugi and Komainu. Yay, my Japanese Lessons sure did come in handy!

Anyway, I'd first try to find my best friend Donut Tanganes, or if I can't find him, take a Hostage and threaten to kill bitches until I do. The second priority is to take hostages for my other friend, the Source, and be sure to set up a bunch of Fall Guys to protect The Source then suffer life in prison when I blame them for stealing Astroscript from NBN because they can't fast advance it enough.

Finally, I hear lots of crazy things about this 'Cerebral Imaging' company, that apparently sets up absurd databases in HQ then accomplishes dozens of Agendas instantly! Well, against them, Donut simply utterly screws them, by making Green and Blue level clearance utterly useless. And by making all their econ crappy. Then I throw away my College Fund and vamp the company into the ground.

Finally, my Cyber-Aspergers means I really should stay away from net damage, which is apparently all the rage in Japan. So I made a net shield out out of garbage and always will have a Deus X around to save my butt out of nowhere.

Basically, that was my summer vacation. I didn't do as much as I wanted though. I never got a chance to buy that Gun to go and shoot annoying psychic clones or that guy who /also/ has Dino on his desk. But eh.

Maybe I should start taking drugs when I hack...

-Chaos Theory

6 comments
7 May 2014 killionaire

(No offense to anyone who has Cyber-Aspergers, any relations to persons living or dead is purely coincidental)

7 May 2014 jeibel

Great writeup, funny and stylish !

7 May 2014 wswan

Definitely a fun read. Have never run with Chaos Theory, but this seems solid, totally.

8 May 2014 Rallenkov

Just LOL

9 May 2014 jleuze

Damn, you've raised the bar. I'm going to have to start writing fanfic for all my decklists...

10 May 2014 ttsgosadow

Nice write-up! Fun to read. Maybe you should take drugs on your next run ;)