Programme Hell: Upstalk Edition

bionicsheep 1353

It's back, and this time . . . it's personal.

Testimonials:

"I didn't think this deck was very good when I first saw it, but then I said to myself: "Self, I think we should try this deck out." and ever since then: I've won all of my netrunner games, I've grown a fuller, thicker head of hair, and I am in a constant state of arousal. Thanks Programme Hell!" - chill84

"One day I was looking for a new deck to play, and I happened to stumble across this build of Programme Hell. So I sleeved it up and took it to my local playgroup night. Everyone was amazed at how the deck ran. Next week when I came back, everyone had a copy sleeved up! Nobody won a corp game that night. It was like a glorious Professor orgy (the good kind, like with supermodels and blackjack). And to boot, ever since first piloting the deck, I've lost 20 lbs, had all of my debts forgiven, and my girlfriend has started commenting how much sexier I've become. Programme Hell is the best thing to ever happen to me." - Ravengm

"This deck is so baws I had "Programme Hell" tattooed on my chin and I have yet to fail at anything I've done since.

Be warned, you're opponents will feed their cards into a wood chipper after playing you." - voltorocks

"I have created a monster." - Destragon

23 comments
18 Jun 2014 Kenan

Considering the shear amount of programs you have, how come you don't have 3 SMCs in order to increase the likelihood of snagging a specific program you definitely want to see?

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

@Kenan Because tutoring is for un-american cowards.

18 Jun 2014 iMarco

You should add 3 Levy AR Lab Access to have MOAR FAN!

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

@iMarco I'm not sure. On the one hand, having to get out your industrial card shuffler out again halfway through a game is pretty funny to me. On the other hand, I sort of like the idea of a deck which has to really commit when it uses FCC, you know?

18 Jun 2014 chill84

I didn't think this deck was very good when I first saw it, but then I said to myself: "Self, I think we should try this deck out." and ever since then: I've won all of my netrunner games, I've grown a fuller, thicker head of hair, and I am in a constant state of arousal. Thanks Programme Hell!

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

@chill84 Thanks for the review, added to the testimonials section of the description.

As always, Programme Hell welcomes reviews, comments and match reports. Rate, comment, subscribe.

18 Jun 2014 Ravengm

One day I was looking for a new deck to play, and I happened to stumble across this build of Programme Hell. So I sleeved it up and took it to my local playgroup night. Everyone was amazed at how the deck ran. Next week when I came back, everyone had a copy sleeved up! Nobody won a corp game that night. It was like a glorious Professor orgy (the good kind, like with supermodels and blackjack). And to boot, ever since first piloting the deck, I've lost 20 lbs, had all of my debts forgiven, and my girlfriend has started commenting how much sexier I've become. Programme Hell is the best thing to ever happen to me.

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

@Ravengm Thanks Ravengm, that's roughly in line with the testing we've done so far. If you'd like to bring back the spirit of competition to your local meta in the wake of this Professor domination, you could always consider playing this as your corp deck as well as your runner deck - despite the lack of agenda, ice, assets or operations, Programme Hell is guaranteed to win games on both sides of the table.

18 Jun 2014 iMarco

@bionicsheep best part of this deck: it has only 1 tutor card and billions of programs. :-D

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

For fans of Programme Hell, why not check out its companion deck, Ice Hell? netrunnerdb.com

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

For fans of Programme Hell, why not check out its companion deck, Ice Hell? netrunnerdb.com

18 Jun 2014 LynxMegaCorp

Yes, I'm a noob when it comes to ANR... So... What makes this deck so good?

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

@Lynx Kuroneko It's impossible to teach Programme Hell, friend. The only way to see the light is to play it for yourself.

18 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

@Lynx Kuroneko (the real answer is 'it's really bad, but it's funny to put one of every single programme in a Professor deck and pretend it's amazing when actually it'd be damn near impossible to play with any degree of consistency')

18 Jun 2014 LynxMegaCorp

Now I wanna play it for the lols... :(

19 Jun 2014 voltorocks

This deck is so baws I had "Programme Hell" tattooed on my chin and I have yet to fail at anything I've done since.

Be warned, you're opponents will feed their cards into a wood chipper after playing you.

19 Jun 2014 Empty_World

damn it it's so good I have to use it in the tournament

20 Jun 2014 Destragon

I have created a monster.

21 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

Thanks for your testimony @Destragon.

22 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

We did it, Programme Hell fans! We officially broke the front page of netrunnerdb! Great work, everybody!

22 Jun 2014 bionicsheep

It's been taken down and I didn't get a screenshot in time, but for a few beautiful minutes Programme Hell took its rightful spot on the front page. Unfortunately it looks like 'The Man' couldn't handle the raw power of this deck (and neither could the site layout) so it's been changed some boring, non-industrial-sized deck instead.

23 Jun 2014 Alsciende

@bionicsheep sorry man, your deck is a piece of beauty, and it was nice to have that week-end of fun on the front page, but like you said, it broke the layout, so...back to our regular schedule with puny standard decklists.

26 Jun 2014 pinkj

Ha! Oracle May in this deck is the icing.