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Illnesses tend to highlight how fleeting health can be and how impermanent our existence is. This realization tends to bring much suffering because we all want to strive to live "happily ever after." We want the good times to last forever and the bad times to never come. However, life is ever changing and you are not the same from one second to another. How can we face this uncertainty?
As an oncologist, I have to give bad news to patients about their new problems and diagnosis.
I see patients face these realizations day after day. Some shut down and cannot deal with it and rely on family members to learn about all the details of the illness. Others treat the news quietly, stoically, but only comprehend a small portion of it. The details and results have to be explained over and over again in the course of many future visits. Yet, others grieve when they hear the news, but are able to put it into the context of life's impermanence; being sad but not devastated. They become the anchor of the family in spite of being the patient struck by a serious illness. What makes our reactions all so different?
The difference in most of our patients is the presence of or absence of spirituality. Do not mistake spirituality with being religious. Yes, they can coexist, but they do not have to. A spiritual person is one who sees the meaning of life; sees how much we all have in common and understands that we do not control over what happens in this world. A spiritual person is also one who is able to let go of all attachments we have in this world and understands that love is what matters most. True love is not possessive, rigid or unidirectional. It is giving, kind and has no strings attached.
My patients have taught me profound lessons in spirituality. I will never forget Alysha, who when told her metastatic lung cancer was progressing and no other therapy could help her, proceeded to thank all her doctors for doing their best. She would console each one of us about how hard it must be for us. She informed us that she understood her path and was ready for it.
Rena was another patient who left a large imprint on my heart. She was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma while in her 80s. She reacted to the news with great equanimity, only pausing to worry about how her family would react and not wanting to be a burden. She proceeded with her illness in a dignified fashion, bearing with the complications and keeping her sweet, loving ways. She was one of my best spiritual teachers.
We need to bring spirituality to medicine, especially oncology. We need to teach it to patients, doctors, nurses and all other medical professional staff. We need to underline the need to care for one another, and we need to start with oneself. We need to value every moment and stop worrying so much about yesterday or tomorrow. The medical profession has to come to grips with the fact that we do not control everything. We must acknowledge the awe in medicine. Doctors are humans and have the same frailties and characteristics as everyone else.
So, how can we do this? How can we try to infuse more spirituality into oncology? Well, it's going to take some work! We need to start with small steps, first just by acknowledging the role of spirituality in improving our patients' well-being. This will only occur by cultivating an environment of looking after the "whole patient," not just the cancer or the organ involved.
Next, we need to incorporate interventions such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, reiki, arts and music into the medical world. Supportive activities such as those mentioned help to emphasize the importance of nurturing our spirituality. We also need to establish a nurturing, loving environment for patients and staff in which each individual is special.
In the place where I work, Montefiore Einstein Center for Cancer Care, we are trying to bring spirituality into the oncological and medical world. By offering activities such as drum circles, mindfulness mediation and peer counseling, hospitals can become more spiritual places, where our patients and staff alike can most calmly and confidently take on each task ahead.
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