GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD!

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GrantZilla1979 398

They said "it couldn't be done" and "you're mad" and "i'm calling the police" and "we're going to have to let you go" and they'd all laugh and laugh and laugh if they knew what I was trying to do - to create the perfect runner with a fraction of the budget and absolutely none of the efficiency of other clones.

for seventy long nights have i slaved away on this creation, and for seventy more have i contemplated destroying it so that the world could be spared its beauty. for to gaze upon his dead eyes poking out from so many pieces bolted to his skull is to know that you are obsolete and this must be how the others feel when they bring the small ones into the world, what are they called, Hector? "Children?" Yes. That will do.

i've given you the tools, my only son. i've given you the drive, the PASSION! Now! Throw yourself against their servers with all you've got! And you will KNOW! As your routers BURN! That I! The immortal Profess....what's that, Hector? Well, yes I can bloody well see his leg is still on the table.

Well, tape it back on, man. We mustn't be slapdash about things.

5 comments
6 Oct 2015 Putty

Alternate title:

Godspeed You! Black Emperor

The car is on fire, and there's no driver at the wheel And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides And a dark wind blows

The government is corrupt And we're on so many drugs With the radio on and the curtains drawn

We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine And the machine is bleeding to death

6 Oct 2015 GrantZilla1979

aHA! I see you are familiar with my post-graduate thesis! Always lovely to meet an admirer.

But seriously guys, I think it needs like a Clone Chip or something

6 Oct 2015 LynxMegaCorp

I need to know more about this...

6 Oct 2015 GrantZilla1979

I guess mulligan if you don't get Off-Campus Apartment

19 Feb 2016 Troubleshooter

How can you make something that's already this crazy and yet miss the opportunity to throw in Power Nap! Clearly that's worth dropping the Skulljack.