TL;DR - The taxation chum wished it could be...
Long ago, a little piece of ice named Chum, drifted through a server, connecting itself to whoever it could find. Chum was a lonely ice, but one that brought a sense of strength to those it met. In addition, chum had a dark side, a hidden side, to its persona - those that it attached to had to admire, or at least endure, Chum's possessive nature - who knew a little piece of ice could do so much damage?
But yet, as the months rolled on, little chum got a reputation, he was a target - and the bullies found a way to solve little Chum, once and for all. As before, little chum would cause the bullies to back off, but now the bullies came back the following night, bigger and stronger, and instead of getting their revenge on little Chum, they instead would take out the poor piece of ice forced to be Chum's friend - Chum's chum, if you will.
And so Chum was lonely again.
Now there was a new kid on the block, a shiny kid, a kid that did away with the lengthy discussions of sharks; replacing them with a cool new look and a cool new sound. All the ice wanted to be friends with TL;DR, because TL;DR appreciated them for what they were good at, and helped them to be better. And if the bullies came back, well, they had to break TL;DR first...