ctz 3951

The best parts of Netrunner tournaments revolve around the folks attending and shenanigans that come to fruition (covered in more depth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOeLYI5fHz0). Before this though, there's always a special carnival that occurs where I particularly shine


The netrunner community never fails to assemble a truly spectacular combination of smurf usernames, decks, chats, and "best practices" in the month before a massive tournament. The history here is rich! Some all-timers include:

  • “barcodes” (e.g IIlIIlI)

  • “Worlds Winning Sunny” (https://netrunnerdb.com/en/decklist/1578446a-af17-4aa3-97b7-20bfb830e89d/worlds-winning-sunny)

  • The mini games of “Guess Who” that occur amongst the spectators of any given game


  • Math.rand(🌭)

It was time for me to strike and I knew I was going to go hard. In order to follow suit with my deck building principles, it needed to be simple, blunt, and slam that “CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL” button.


My initial plan was to play ~12 games a day, switching decklists each time, and introducing treasure and trash alike directly into the jnet bloodstream. Both of my eventual decklists for this tournament were played on GTC, but some additional highlights include:

  • OB that looks to FA 4 agenda points, closing the deal out with 15 advance-able barrier ice + RLC/Trash BC on runner’s turn + False Flag + Biotic + RPC

  • R+ rigshooter clown car with ganked, new ambush, and intake

  • Outfit using divert power, reduced service, and envelopements

  • New jinteki PSI game hell (admins and lockdown) with all possible recursion and beamless launches

  • Ari with pikachu, DJ Fenris, swift, and kasi string

  • Freedom with sabotage, contaminate, paule’s cafe, simulchips, and virus resource hacker NOTE: We will iterate on these ideas in season X of SanSanFrancisco, starting in a few weeks!

The impact was immediate and hilarious. More than the nonsense going on above, folks simply couldn’t process the messaging in front of them. The questions / discussions / accusations poured in at record speeds and I’ve never had this much engagement with a Smurf account in nearly 10 years of playing.

Was this some type of trick? Was Whiteblade trying to ruse? What is Cascadia and why would I leave the wonderful abode of Europe to go the wretched states? If a hush is installed on a magnet in the middle of a forest sans any witnesses, am I allowed to collect two credits from kyuban? Why haven’t I done an idea like this for my own tournament?

ACT II: Heartbreak

I had used all my restraint over those weeks to not join a single game of Whiteblade’s, saving it for a critical moment after the Smurf passed its initial testing. It had succeeded in doing exactly that, so I was on watch AKA “beach”.

On that fateful day, Whiteblade played a few games with slowly growing spectators. I believe it was his third game that brought in a STAGGERING 6 spectators, so I knew it was time. I slammed the join button, sipped my Orange Juice, and watched.

Literally no one said anything. Unbeeflievable. I felt exactly like Dexter to the poster in his closet. I knew I couldn’t risk joining another of his games without weakening the line of “WB joined his own game twice on the GTC Smurf”, because who in their right mind would do something like that twice? NOTE: The table this weekend taught ole WB how to traverse pasta, so anything is possible.

I knew I needed to add more to the conversation than just the Smurf. There had to be a list that was shocking, legitimately good, and something both sweaty and non-sweaty players would talk about. Like every other successful deck of mine, it comes from an origin story of trying to fall with style. This was when I entered the tank. I brewed for days, sniffing numerous gasolines to ascertain which was the finest Diesel (dab).

I arrived at this Corp list. The core was a known quality entity, the ice was killer against Ari and Hosh, it featured new cards, and most importantly:

Have y’all read Your Digital Life!?!?!?! Uhhhh

  • Rashida los dos
  • Fully op modal undoing
  • Gatekeeper those cards right into your hand
  • Wage workers draw 3
  • A doctor that does HQ calls

Yeah, I too need a cigarette. Hit me with an Ay Caramba and/or Dios Mio in the chat please.

We’re not done. We had one last job to do. Watching Barbie was not enough (it was, but this sentence doesn’t work otherwise, 3/5 to Nolan’s latest). We needed to see the other movie. Good screen was done, so enter bad screen.

ACT III: Fartbreak

This was never going to be fair. It had to be brutal. Public, on display, and against someone with credentials and communications. I briefly returned to beach and the universe delivered. It was actually too quick of a beach, so I almost didn’t join. But that’s not how things happen.

Enter: Andrej / The Métropole Grid

I hopped into game, played it cool, and met his lobby greetings. A sole spectator joined the lobby at the same time, so I had a good feeling the snow would be soft. We selected our decks and moved into game view. I couldn’t believe what happened next -

“Hey is it okay if I record this game for some possible content I’m working on?”

All this work was worth the effort. I knew this was the way to uprise and I fully committed to the task at hand. Instantly accepted and proceeded to step on the gas so hard I transformed the car into a flinstone car. The primary fingerprint at the scene of the crime was a turn of 1-3 FO/YDL I think on turn 3ish. I crushed hard. Mission Accomplished.

Note: Andrej is such a sweetheart and I promise for as Brutal as that game was, I felt it was good netrunner content and made sure our chat was up to snuff per my usual banter and game shepherding.

Act IV: Fallout (war never changes)

I arrived into Seattle on Wednesday before Cascadia, to slam some local pinball tournaments on WED & THUR, because what good card gaming degenerate doesn’t have an additional degen hobby? Before venturing off to the local joints, I tapped into Jeff/Ysengrin’s stream. I saw that he too was at work laying down false flags, as he was just starting to build PD (OMEGALUL that’s not OB). Lo and behold, Andrej is in the chat! It only took 4 messages and Jeff’s purple aura to lure it out -

“Your Digital Life is nuts with fully op”

Moving to Friday, there was a gathering at a brewery. Some of Vancouver’s finest (shoutout to HAMS) were sitting at the table and I proceeded to join them. This life and universe of ours is really a flat circle, with the proof on arrival. The group had just been discussing / determining / dissecting -

“But who is GO_TO_CASCADIA?!?!?!?!?!” Had to give it to ‘em. #gottem

I’ll cover the actual tournament, happenings, and future love sounds in my runner write up “CTZTHEWORM”, coming to theaters near you soon.

14 Aug 2023 Zerothmaxima

I got lost in this sauce

14 Aug 2023 Council

This writeup is love

I'm quite partial to 'Smurfies Law' myself

14 Aug 2023 rongydoge

check please

14 Aug 2023 TyrellCorp

I greatly appreciate the RPC reference

14 Aug 2023 enkoder

M.I.C. drop

14 Aug 2023 Voodoofly

Who knew Gargamel had a Rodman jersey under that robe.

14 Aug 2023 hams

this write-up is the answer to the question, "are we all cooked?"

and the answer is terrifying in its beauty. we should all consider ourselves lucky for the universe understanding us a little better for it

there is no way to know where to go from here

14 Aug 2023 SMITTYL

The write up was worth the wait. Masterwork! We discussed Asa lists after you stomped me with 419. Wonderful to meet you in person. Cheers

15 Aug 2023 Bilby

season X of SanSanFrancisco, starting in a few weeks!

be still my heart amazing writeup amazing tournament

15 Aug 2023 YsengrinSC

The decision maker strikes! Genuinely our game of this was probably my top Netrunner experience. Much love my man.

15 Aug 2023 analyzechris

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

15 Aug 2023 amavric

We were given the decklists to look over during the top cut commentary. As soon as I opened this one, it was like the final scene of a Dan Brown book. I finally knew the true identity of GOTOCASCADIA.

15 Aug 2023 maninthemoon

The legendary GOTOCASCADIA in the flesh 😃 It was truly a pleasure meeting and losing to you!

Will you be at West coast Nats in LA?

15 Aug 2023 ctz

I am going to try my damnedest to be there in LA!

17 Aug 2023 Sindarin

When you revealed who Go To Cascadia was at the brewery, my mind was blown. Amazing experiences.