complexity bad (2nd @ NA Conts)

I want my runner decks to be grey nutrient paste.

There are lots of runner decks that do lots of sick things. Instant speed physarum, corp turn installs, tutors, draw engines, credit engines, diesel engines, pure euro gaming.

The cost to those sick things is that the deck is trying to tell you how to play it. Don't click to draw, there's a hush on top for your q-loop. Don't run the remote, you have a gamble on Bling that you'll lose if you don't click to 5. Archives looks sus, but if you run it you'll lose the Madani value install on the corp turn.

I don't like my runner decks to fight me. I know what I want to be doing, my deck's job is to make it more efficient for me to do that thing.

The cards in this deck say some combination of draw cards, make money, and make runs. Very occasionally they say access extra cards. The icebreakers are all exactly the same. The cards are all efficient. Also Reprise is there.

I'm not here to serve what the deck wants to do. The deck is here to serve what I want to do. Some people are big enough brain that they can ignore the thing their deck is insisting they do in favor of the correct action instead. I am not that big brain, so I play simple runner decks.

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The crucible of my weekend came in my game against Wyld round 4 of the cut. I felt, both during and immediately after the game, that it was one of the best games of Netrunner I'd ever played in. The whole game I felt insane with tension and stress, like I was locked in a life or death struggle with an overpowering enemy.

I watched back through the game on stream with mounting embarrassment. In reality, that game was 37 minutes of me looking tortured, shuffling chips and agonizing over every decision, and 3 minutes of Wyld quickly and calmly playing through his turns without rushing or prompting me. (This after I got out of line and took out frustration on Sokka about slow play no less!)

The whole thing was all in my head. The game was a pretty simple poor draw for Nebula against a poor-ish draw for Sable. I brought all the stress and tension in there and wrestled with it for 37 minutes.

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After the game I walked away to cool off. I went by the Artist Colony but there was too much going on. I went downstairs but there were people talking loudly. I went to the lounge but someone was playing music. I was being gently nudged outside.

I stood outside and leaned against the wall and did some breathing exercises and reflected on the game. I thought about Netrunner and why I play it and why I'm here. I drew a connection I hadn't made before.

I/You/We play Netrunner even though it's hard and stressful. I/You/We are here on Earth even though it's hard and stressful.

I/You/We play Netrunner in order to prove (to whom?) that [insert your reason here].

I/You/We are here on Earth in order to prove (to whom?) that [insert THE SAME REASON as above!]

I play Netrunner to remind myself to remember why I'm here! They're for the same reason!

It was like waking up. I remembered that it's not hard to do the right thing - that what I have trouble with is REMEMBERING to be MINDFUL enough to know how easy it is to do the right thing!

I remembered that once you're mindful and start choosing to do the right thing, everything gets so easy. Everything flows.

It was comical how quickly I got feedback that I was back on the right wavelength. I got an unexpected gift. I heard from friends I hadn't been in touch with. The difference has been palpable.

Just look at the difference between my game with Wyld and my other games in the cut. I remembered why I'm doing this even though sometimes it's hard and stressful. Everything was easy after that.

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I'm filled with joy that I got 2nd. I played my heart out in the finals and wouldn't change a thing, and I'm filled with joy that SebK took it down. You don't have to win to win!