No I'm SPORTICUS! (2nd Place Darksphere Regional)

Goddammit I don't want to Sports again! - Chris Martin. Winners Final

Did you just kill him with a NEXT Wave 2? - Swiftie

SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! - Tagore and Entourage

Welcome one! Welcome...wait where did they all go? Welcome to the Butchershot Sports Day where we have a wide assortment of FUN events for all you avid runners. If you think you can just make a Mad Dash for first then think again because we at Butchershot have a few obstacles along the way. Try out the Egg and Spoon race except the Egg is your Brain! Or perhaps you'll try and jump over the NEXT Silver hurdles but don't trip over the NEXT Gold and NEXT Diamond ones because hahaha...we're not liable for any injuries or potential brain matter you may lose along the way. And try to keep up with our two star athletes Rashida Jaheemand Kuwinda K4H1U3. Now that the Gatekeeper have permitted you access lets take a look at how this deck functions.

So as most of you have probably discovered this is an new branded iteration of my old Ice Cream Parlour deck. Throw down your NEXT Ice, tax the runner out as they steal those gendies and then pop them in the head with a Punitive Counterstrike or two. Then we have the defensive brain damage cards increasing our chances of landing the Punitive with ease as the runner struggles to hold their cards with their scrambled eggs for brains. It's really refreshing to see players having to open their sealed up brain damage tokens from tournaments and using them for the first time asking me which order they should use them in.

Economy: When I was deckbuilding this on the train with Rotage and Swiftie because that's basically my format for any of my decks both said I had too much money in the deck. Have you seen how much athletes are paid!? They cost a fortune and want their Ice all flashy with Silvers and Golds and Diamonds. This deck needs lots of money and allows me wiggle room for the killing blows and to rez those all important spiky expensive Ice.

ICE: The structure is very standard for what I build. All that juicy NEXT loveliness that just makes runners sweat the more you rez. Seidr Adaptive Barrier for additional ETR along with Turing and the All-star Gatekeeper which is seriously good and definitely a replacement for enigma with those pesky clans and their vengefulness against sports. Best outcome is having your spiky ice out front of your RND and HQ because of Turning Wheel Shenanigans but also having them in the remote is incredibly taxing. Anarchs especially having to pay 12 whole credits just to break NEXT Diamond it is a very strong sentry. And if you want the kill you can always do the old Marcus Batty, NEXT Gold shenanigans because Corps need some too.

Kill Conditions: Nothing pleases me more when I imagine a rude Valencia or Maxx taking my poor gendies so I punish them Punitively by chucking them into the middle of a field and Sports them to death. Punitive Counterstrike is very strong with Sportsmetal: Go Big or Go Home because one of the biggest problems you have is either not enough money or never drawing it. Well Sports draws it for you when they steal making it much easier to find them. Black Level Clearance is a core defense against Indexing and remotes forcing those Stimhack junkies to take more damage if they want to steal. Don't do drugs kids. And finally the secret tech was Kuwinda K4H1U3! She is a great little ticking time bomb, taxing runners each turn less they wish to see her backhand. She's the Serena WIlliams of Brain Damage and with Preemptive Action I can recur her again and again making it harder for Runners to keep up.

Butchershot Sports Day Highlights

1. After a rude Maxx Used Clan Vengeance to bin my hand at teh start of my turn I used a Project Vitruvius counter to pull a card back and double advance it. The Maxx then Stimhacks the remote to contest it leaving them with two cards in hand. They access and voila! A Cerebral Overwriter! MWAHAHAHA!

2. Runner stole 2 Global Food Initiative and a NEXT Wave 2 making me draw 6 cards and the last card was the Punitive I needed to kill them.

3. Baited a Maxx into a remote with two facedown cards. I rez the Black Level Clearance and they choose the brain damage. The other facedown card was Breaker Bay Grid. Mega RUUUUUSED!

4. Got a Runner down to 5 Brain Damage and then scored a NEXT Wave 2for the kill!

This deck seems good I feel I already know what to fix but all in all nice and solid like a runners kneecaps before I Sports them clean off.