Cockatoo Brawler (8-1¹ @ Syd Aus Nats '23; 6th in cut)

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QTM built the deck, I'm just the fool that stared at it and thought "okay but what if tutor tho". Pivot gives this deck an astonishing ability to respond immediately to the boardstate and capitalise on small runner missteps, and it even lets you tutor up a Bellona to take advantage of a scoring window.

The cockatoos were insistent that we offer the runner opportunities to better themselves instead of smashing their shit, and they're right. (They're always right.) It dodges the economic discount of Simulchip reinstalls, and the cred hit is immediate and real enough that you can usually close the game out immediately.

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It is seven years ago. It is ten years ago. It is round four at Sydney Nationals 2023.

The runner is playing Maker's Eye on R&D. The runner is running with Medium on R&D. The runner is playing Finality on R&D.

I need to reduce my agenda density. The cockatoos are watching. I flip the card my fingers know so well — a friend, a collaborator, a brother. I rez Jackson Howard. I rez Jackson Howard. I rez... Jackson Howard, and shuffle in a couple of non-agenda cards back into my deck.

I look down at the card in my hands, to see Spin Doctor's rez trigger. I receive an Irrecoverable Failure To Maintain Gamestate; a game loss.

The cockatoos are still watching.

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okay. fine. i get it. you wont let me unsubscribe. but then the least you can do is listen to me vent okay. i dunno yall it's just pretty much entirely my little kid competitive sweaty nature resurfacing and makin me feel like shit that for some unforeseen and impossible reason i'm not like immediately doing well at this game after years and years away from it. i know that. you know that. i know you know i know that.

doesn't stop me from feelin like shit tho.

it's such a tiny thing. it's so stupid to feel this and the fact that this is so stupid is in and of itself making me feel stupid. yknow?

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yeah. yeah okay. yeah yeah yeah fair enough okay.

¹ my record with the deck was 3-1 in swiss and 1-0 in the cut; the loss being the technical game loss described above — we played it out afterwards, and it would've been my win. A friend brought the same deck and went 3-1 in swiss. A bit cheeky, perhaps, to call that 8-1, but in my defense, the cockatoos are okay with it.

SYDNEY, MORNING OF NATIONALS, AIRBNB APARTMENT, OUTER BALCONY.

An UNASSUMING YOUNG MAN locks the balcony door behind him as he steps out, leaning into the bright morning and its view. Occasionally, he takes a picture. He's masking it, but our shot focuses in on his shaking fingers and too-frequent blinking. He's NERVOUS. JITTERY. Perhaps even PANICKED.

As he's looking one way, through the lens of his camera, a SULPHUR-CRESTED COCKATOO lands on the balcony railing behind him. Then another. By the time he turns to see them, there are FOUR COCKATOOS perched on the balcony railing.

He backs away, alarmed. TWO MORE COCKATOOS land on the railing he just vacated. They make no noise, and no further moves.

He looks inside, to the PARTY BUS CREW he has travelled to Sydney with. They shrug. He looks back. The cockatoos look back at him.

The man tries to speak to the cockatoos, but they pay him no mind. He takes a picture, then two, then three, and they preen.

His fingers are no longer shaking.