Note: Shout outs to Sebastiank's AZ lists for the inspiration to make this.

Friends, today we gather here to say goodbye. Not just to a card, but to an entire archetype. To one of the last of us still living.

Please play fitting music while reading.

Armand "Geist" Walker: Tech Lord is dead now, long dead, and we watched them celebrate his passing; we hissed under our breath. Grappling Hook and Street Peddler are buried nearby. True, the cards in Borealis look exciting. True, there's multiple "Trash this card for a minor benefit" cards that fit the old Geist archtype so well. And maybe in eternal we will still see him, building his shitty engines... but as for the here and now, my friends. None of that matters.

For this week we lose maybe our oldest friend:

Tech Trader

Remember the good times we had? Remember back in the day, when we could play Fall Guy, when Hades Shard made us money? Remember importing Clone Chip, remember when we'd reshuffle our entire deck with Levy AR Lab Access and go again?

Remember Spy Camera, a card so terrible no one could imagine playing it, and how you made it work by turning it into "gain 3 credits"? Remember Gbahali and Kongamato, cards no runner would ever touch, and how you helped us give them a home?

Remember when all hope seemed lost, when we lost our card drawing boy, when people believed that the trashmasters would never live again... only to discover a beautifully disgusting new build based on installing as many hardware and programs as possible? Using Prognostic Q-Loop and Masterwork (v37) to get click compression? Remember the glory at seeing cards like The Back and Boomerang, like gifts from heaven given directly to us?

Remember the looks on our opponent's faces when they saw the first tech trader and knew what we were doing? The disgust, the annoyance? Remember the times when they'd groan at having to re-do all their math, prepared as they were for someone with a normal economy?

Yes, it wasn't all good times. So often we played around with our tools and lost games because of it, games that we would have won with a more "reasonable" deck. And yes, a single tag still sends must of us into a full blown fight or flight response, not to mention cards that shall not be named. But that's simply the price you pay for being dedicated, and dedicated we were.

By the end of this week, you will have left us, Tech Trader. You will have taken Sports Hopper, Spy Camera, even The Turning Wheel with you. We will not mourn your passing long, we will move on to jankier, stranger pastures as we always have.

But until the good, good people at NISEI.net print something that can take your place, the trashmasters must close up shop, for now. No more games shall be played with the ghost of geist.. For now, at least, he will rest.

In your memory, I give: the most deranged deck I could possibly make. What better to mourn the death of a deck that has always been jank as hell then creating the jankiest, most dedicated possible version?

How to play this deck: Mulligan if your starting hand does not have Q-loop or Masterwork. Install them as quickly as possible. Use them as often as possible. Use q-loop every turn, not just your turns but the corp's as well; nearly 3/4s of the deck is installable with it. You can get into any server with your tools and your instant moneymaking. You cannot be tagged, you have Flip Switch, you cannot be killed, you have Sports Hopper, you cannot be stopped, you have Boomerang. Get into every server they create. Keep track of The Back and Simulchip to make sure you can't lose all your icebreakers; shuffle them back in if you have to. Win by never letting them lock you out, and stopping them with Stargateor The Turning Wheel if you have to.

And most importantly, if a Tech Trader is killed or otherwise put into your heap: cry. Cry for her loss, cry for what could have been, and cry in hopes NISEI will see our crocodile tears and foolishly print some new card we can replace her with, upon which moment we will STRIKE from the SHADOWS, REVEALING THAT WE NEVER DIED, THAT WE WERE ALWAYS READY TO STRIKE FROM THE SHADOWS, THAT NOTHING CAN TRULY STOP US, THAT

Ahem. Pour one out with me, fellow trashmasters. RIV, Old Friend, you were taken too soon.