hell is other people || a misery engine

jonkey bong 389

as we go on
we remember
all the times we
had together

When I moved to Austin in 2019, I had very limited experience with Netrunner. I had played a bit with friends, and watched a fair bit of coverage, such that it was. I stumbled into the Austin meta during the height of the pandemic, and as such my first real event was in 2022. Now, in 2025, I am moving away to Raleigh - a place I'm finding it hard to find a scene. I'll be playing FaB, maybe I'll be playing OP. I don't even like one piece but needs must.

I don't have the energy to do what Brandon has done to cultivate Ausin - and Replicating Perfection is toxic anyway. I will miss all of you dearly, and will stop by to run thule when I can. Consider this deck a love letter, though those traditionally are not so full of abject hatred.

To everyone I've played against, online and off. To everyone in the Austin meta, past and present. To my friends, truly, I love you all.


it's something unpredictable,
but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

In many ways this deck embodies what I love about the ID, and why it is basically the only Corp I've played since it released.
- It is 49 cards that are objectively better in another, more functional ID
- It struggles financially and with scoring
- It is nonsense on the page, but calming to the soul
- It asks something of the runner, but is ultimately fair
- It will not kill you, but it may harm you

Piloting thule is akin to praying a rosary or contemplating a koan. It is a ritual, borne of love, where the act of unremittant performance is a tool to support spiritual exploration. For this reason, this is a deck designed to achieve maximum netrunner. The ideal gamestate is a 0-0 tie when time in round is called. An agenda point is a vulgarity that brings the game closer to completion. We are in search of an endless highway with no offramps. A beautiful ribbon, our '95 camry holding a solid 67 mph, a can of diet coke beading condensation in our cupholder, the terrain perfectly flat, nothing but horizon around us.

I can offer no real advice on how to pilot this list - and it would be folly to accept it if I did. If you meet the jonkey on the road, kill him. The journey is the point. I wouldn't dare to deny you the pleasure of finding your path. The cards are there, cairns in the trail, but there can be no map.

I was asked on the day what seems like a reasonable question: "how does this deck win?" This question is not, on its face, misguided - one traditionally has a game plan. But that's not our goal today - we are simply here to take the game actions asked of us, and the runner shall do the same, endlessly. So it goes.


i will try
and know whatever i try
i will be gone
but not forever

No man steps in the same river twice. I am not the same man I was at the beginning of my netrunner journey. I am now a father to two wonderful boys, and my time is no longer my own. I have replaced one job with another, and another. I have finally, after two decades, seen Carmen Cicero performed live. The river, then, is the game of netrunner. And it's not the same river. NSG has done a wonderful job stewarding this ship - it's in a much better spot than it was. If I could make one request, it would be this:

Never rotate thule you cowards

see you space cowboy

7 comments
13 Jan 2025 branimated

A legend in his own time. A warrior poet. An absolute freak for Thule Subsea. We're gonna miss you, bud. There will always be a seat at the table and a cold Diet Coke for you in Austin. <3

13 Jan 2025 Slapdash

Mr. Bong, you will be missed. ๐Ÿ’–

13 Jan 2025 Council

hell is the absence of other people

13 Jan 2025 Council
13 Jan 2025 Council

Also I didn't even see the Warroid Trackers, that's so bae

13 Jan 2025 rongydoge

hot damn jonkey bong did it again

  • everybody
15 Jan 2025 agendacracked

That's great. With its soothing visuals, mellow soundtrack, and endless possibilities, Chill Guy Clicker is the perfect way to leave stress behind.

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