The Defrosted Honeypot

to: all.staff@haarps.nbn.com

from: v.jenkins@nbn.com

subject: Regarding the recent changes

Dear all,

First of all, yes, as many of you are already aware: Haarpsichord is being restructured. Frankly, the division's quarterly performance has been shocking. Failure on such a scale will not be tolerated at NBN.

As of 9:15am today, those of you in the SysOps and Intrusion Countermeasures divisions are no longer required. That's correct: all of you. Please clear your desks quickly and quietly, and please do not give the security staff any hassle when they escort you out; NBN will not be held responsible for the consequences if you provoke them into doing something unfortunate.

Given the recent pathetic performance of our system security teams, management feels that our servers can be protected more cost-effectively using more proactive methods. If there are security breaches, we will henceforth deal with them the old-fashioned way.

Needless to say, the scale of our staff reductions will leave several parts of the building uninhabited. Those areas are strictly off-limits until further notice. Any loud sounds or screaming emanating from these areas are simply construction work and are to be ignored.

The repeated failure of Haarpsichord to deliver on NBN's flagship projects leaves me no choice but to reassign responsibility for these products to other, more reliable and more aggressive divisions within the NBN family. Until Haarpsichord can prove itself once again, only the most basic and low-profile of our planned projects will be routed through the studio. However, just because these products are not as "valuable" as some of our more recent, more glamorous commodities, does not mean they are worthless. On the contrary. I expect you to pursue these agendas very aggressively, and I see no reason why several cannot be advanced at once.

Finally, I am placing the studio on a six-month profitability notice. Some Haarpsichord executives seem to have been happy to run the division at a loss; you will notice that these executives no longer have jobs. Haarpsichord is not a charity. If the studio is to survive, start making money. Quickly. I don't care how.

Yours,

Victoria

ps: don't forget to sign up for the staff Christmas Party!