Shell Game Superstar - ZOOLANDER

kevnburg 383

Blue Steel

YOU are a fashion celebrity. The also a fashion celebrity. Imagine their face after you install 3 remotes turn 1. Is the first a flashy designer preparing your next outfit? Is the second a juicy award ceremony? Is the third a juicer magazine endorsement? A role in a hot new film? How many are eager reporters, or new franchise deals?

I’ve played 100+ games of Haarp on since October. Here’s the list where I've had the most fun installing agendas.


Orange Mocha Frappuchino

Estelle Moon and Rashida Jaheem are the two most efficient designers in the fashion world. Estelle rewards you for continuing to install agendas, And Rashida overdraws you into your next pair of agendas or Hard-Hitting News. You want to overdraw because you want PAIRS of agendas to install unprotected and trade on the runway.

Agenda trades keep your jeep moving, with credits earned from SSL Endorsement, Explode-a-palooza, and, most hilariously, Stock Buy-Back.

News Team keeps the runner away from match point, enabling bigger buy backs and even riskier agenda pairings.


Best Actor Slash Model

Award Bait is a fitting partner for any agenda. Project Beale and SSL Endorsement love the opportunity to give you 3 points on a 50/50 run. An Explode-a-palooza creates a safe trade where you profit from either runner choice. Even a second Award Bait is promising, especially if a Franchise City supports its ceremony.

If I have Fast Track and a 2 or 3 pointer in hand, I’ll almost always search for an Award Bait to install alongside it. You want yourself (and the runner) to accelerate towards match point. Always Be Installing.

In a typical game, I'll trade paired agendas with the runner two or three times, and score something behind ICE one or two times. Leaving agendas on the table for a bit is fine, as sometimes you'll prefer getting your centrals ICE'd or supporting your Estelle Moon with more Franchise City installs.


Psychographics Sometimes, the runner steals the endorsement off the runway and leaves you with a second place award. That’s where Exchange of Information kicks in. If they run too fast, Hard-Hitting News

The secondary purpose of tags is cheeky Quantum Predictive Model plays. Install a QPM before playing Hard Hitting News for maximum fun.

Most of the ice in this deck involves tags, helping you to score a cheeky kitty and encouraging the runner to accept the constantly monitored life of a fashion celebrity. You want them to accept this life, because 2x Exchange of Information is incredible value in a deck that floods both players’ score areas with agendas. And it's more fun than BOOM!


A center for Ants

You won’t always need rezzed ICE to win, but a tax on centrals and one remote is a nice luxury. HQ is more important than RnD. Protect Rashida with a Data Raven, and MAYBE protect an agenda more heavily, with 2 or 3 cheap, taxing ICE, if you see an attractive window, or if a nasty fashion critic demands you play glacier. Your ice tags, so if your next outfits’ manufacturers go on strike, fast track and install Quantum Predictive Model

Kitsune is the silliest ICE in the deck. Slowly advance a Project Beale behind one, with Award Bait in hand, for maximum entertainment (and 4 or 5 points).



  • Apocalypse while 4 unprotected agendas are on the table
  • Employee Strike or Film Critic while 4 agendas are on the table
  • Discarding an Exchange of Information
  • Rebirth into Jesminder or Leela


playful Zoolander

  • Mwanza City Grid used to be my third Franchise City. I’m not sold on this dangerous include, but it’s not as dangerous in Haarp, and it is the cheekiest way I have gotten a runner to access Quantum Predictive Model off of RnD. A variant with TGTBT, Archangel, and SEA Source would better support Mwanza's multi-access and cash influx.

  • Team Sponsorship keeps up agenda installing tempo and is beautiful alongside Rashida. Ironically, I cut it out to make space for 3x Rashida.

  • Psychographics is discarded more than it’s played, but it + Beale wins games so easily if the runner goes tag me or you land a perfect Hard Hitting News.

  • The All-Seeing I used to be in this deck, but it’s not as game winning as a second Exchange of Information. I’d rather play tag punishment that accelerates my own victory.

  • SEA Source has high potential, as its single tag is all you need for Exchange of Information, your most important tag punisher.

  • MCA Informant would help against Film Critic. I don’t enjoy having to rely on a tag glacier remote or a good Hard Hitting News after film critic comes up.

  • Standard Procedure lets you earn money and check if the runner has Film Critic, Employee Strike, or a way past Kitsune in hand.

  • Puppet Master used to be included as my single 3 pointer for maximum jank. Herald, Ice Wall, and Red Planet Couriers were also included in Puppet Master variants.

  • Media Blitz was included alongside Puppet Master, and it was lackluster. Currents anti-synergize with your agenda trading techniques. If you’re having trouble with an Employee Strike, score an agenda behind ice.

  • AR-Enhanced Security and TGTBT were in here before I had a 3 pointer, and boy were their abilities great, but I prefer having a single 3 point agenda for Exchange of Information.

  • Thoth + An Offer You Can't Refuse is another Haarp combo. I don't include it because I like my economy-focused influence spread and Thoth is expensive. Here's another deck that explores this combo.


Zoolander calendar

1 Jun 2018 Sedatedfork

This looks like a fun time.

1 Jun 2018 demoy

Fun stuff. Replacing the Mwanza City Grid back with the Franchise City has served me well.

1 Jun 2018 androidcard


3 Jun 2018 Cannister

Played against this deck as my first matchup against Haarp and had my mind blown. I've now played ~5 games with it and done a bit of tweaking - it's a whole lot of fun to play. I've had trouble sticking the HHNs, but at the very least they're usually a good tempo hit. Stock Buy-Backs when the runner has 8 agendas in their scoring area is insane. I also have quite liked having a Gutenberg for R&D.

3 Jun 2018 kevnburg

I'm currently testing 3x Standard Procedure as an economy slot, mainly to check if the runner has Film Critic or Employee Strike in hand. I've updated the flexibility / card choice section to mention it. Strangely, I've removed Hedge Fund to test it out.

@demoy that's probably the right call. 3x Franchise City is strong, and Mwanza misplays lose games. I usually only want Mwanza to fire once. Other decks have combo'd Mwanza with Kitsune to do things like forcing the runners' access of 3 Snares in HQ. This deck would need to be spikier to properly support Mwanza.