Let Me Be Noisy [STARTUP]

Scrub! 175

What's the deal with this deck?

I like Noise and I didn't want to bum everyone out by bringing icebreakers. So I dressed 6 cards up in a mascot costume resembling a knock-off version of Noise.

Ignore the cardlist, this is what's actually in the deck:

And now I will take questions.


Where's the Sure Gambles? How do you make money??

Paladin Poemu is this deck's economy. (I know you see Fermenter in this list, if you think that's economy, you've fallen for the trap. I will explain later.) The deck will never need to have more than 3 credits really ever.

How do I get into servers?

With Botulus and Boomerang. If it's any harder than this then just go somewhere else. You've got Chisel and Devil Charm in here but that's more for the expensive ICE you want them to feel bad for paying for.

How do I draw cards?

Imp everything. First thing you Imp each turn is going to get you a card and a draw, and you only have 6 cards to care about. Other than that just click and draw. Come out of the gate strong with an aggressive mulligan and runs and then spend the next turn or two just digging for more viruses and your Paladin.

What am I missing here? What does this deck actually DO?

The entire goal of the deck is to apply Archives pressure through constant trashing. The gameplan is not to win directly out of Archives, but to just be doing what you were going to be doing anyway (installing programs to break ice to get into servers) and incrementing your secondary win condition (Sabotage) at the same time.

You will want to aggressively mulligan to get Avgustina Ivanovskaya and Cookbook, with a HEAVY consideration on either Imp or Botulus. Tina and Cookbook are essential for the deck, and Imp is going to be the true fear monger. Trashing ICE with Imp tokens and getting to draw off it is very nice.

1 fear

This deck wants to run extremely aggressively because there's nothing you fear, other than losing your Simulchip. Face plant into anything, let them trash what small programs you have installed because they're going to get fetched for very cheap with some chips the moment they show up.

Turn 1s looked a lot like:

  • Install Avgustina Ivanovskaya
  • Install Cookbook
  • Install Imp (if no ice) or Botulus if ice. (This will Sabotage 1. If Imp you get 3 counters, if Botulus you get 2 counters, that will get you through ANY ice they install turn 1 or your money back.)
  • Run into Remote, R&D, HQ in that order of importance, depending on the ICE situation.

And from this point on your goal is to find a Simulchip, and Paladin Poemu. The Paladin is going to help you install more chips and the occasional virus, this is the entirety of your real usable econ. Maybe Keiko could help once you've got the credits on the Paladin. You won't need the Keiko credits, just the memory. Maybe. It's a deck-filler, I would cut it completely if I could.

Are these other cards actually useless?

Yeah mostly. While these cards have uses if I was allowed to remove them all I would have a much better deck!!

  • Chastushka. If it's free and open, slam away and make them sabotage. If they leave cards in HQ - run there next to Imp it.
  • Rejig. This is actually just: 0 cost - Sabotage 1. Reinstall anything anywhere, it doesn't matter.
  • Devil Charm - Part of a 2 card combo with Chisel and it's underwhelming. BUT Chisel is a virus so it gets to stay.
  • Keiko Would cut if I could.
  • No Free Lunch. I've used it to clear a tag once, most times I just pop it instantly to pay for a Chastushka.
  • The Nihilist. OH LOOK A PICTURE OF NOISE BETTER PUT HIM IN THE DECK!! This was never installed, would cut if I could.
  • Clot. It's a virus and it's annoying. Benign.
  • Fermenter. This is a special slot because Fermenter is only here for 2 reasons:
  1. Sabotage via Tina.
  2. Bait the corp into purging.

You don't need the Fermenter money. Don't even consider taking the money. If you're looking to grab that money then you are a FOOL and you should not pilot this deck. Those virus counters and that large amount of money is there to scare the corp into purging, wasting their turn. You hope for a purge. You pray for a purge. Rejig and Simulchip will have you back in running state within a click or two and the corp just lost 3 clicks themselves.

In the end this deck is half an idea (icebreakers are hard to do math so I'm not bringing them) and it really falters if they have Magnet and powerful defensive upgrades. Also I guess it has no money so if if you need to pay for a Bellona my advice is to just Imp it and forget about it - make them worry about getting that back out.


Tournament Results

I used this for the PDX Startup Opener 2022, and it was my first tournament so I wouldn't take any results as indicative of this brilliant, beautiful, flawless deck.

vs Jinteki - PE: Win, in Startup I fear the Regenesis if the corp is trying to discard face downs from hand real early on. Watch for Anemone, you don't want to lose a Simulchip.

vs HB - Precision Design: Loss, a BIG loss, big oof energy. Did you know Magnet messes up a deck with 0 icebreakers??

vs Weyland - Building a Better World: Won Because this deck has no icebreakers I don't really fear any advanceable ice. That seemed to be their plan but a Cooked Botulus gets through anything trying to end your run 99% of the time even with all the counters in the world on it.

vs Weyland - Built to Last: Won I got an Imp + Tina + Cookbook down turn 1 and that's basically the dream opener. They couldn't keep anything around long enough, welcome to sabotage and trash city.

4 comments
26 Sep 2022 render787

If The Nihilist is useless and you don't actually install it, did you consider running The Twinning? If your entire econ is based on Paladin Poemu then it seems likely you have a way to charge it?

I would consider also Steelskin Scarring as decent pack filler, should help vs. PE for instance

26 Sep 2022 Scrub!

Steelskin Scarring might be an extremely good replacement for nihilist here! I found myself needing the card draw and the nihilist was just going to be too slow.

I was playing with it on jnet but in the tournament setting people were just moving too fast for me to be able to afford the click for it. If playing more casually it's an okay card to keep in the deck because of the amount of synergy you get. That and it's yet another thing to force the corporation to purge out of fear.

3 Oct 2022 carniceromolon

Great deck. 1 buzzsaw vs magnet. Lets play!!

3 Oct 2022 Scrub!

Yeah, I believe I'd worry less about Clot/Fast Advance (this deck would be dead against it really anyway) and instead get the Buzzsaw to help with the Magnet.